It's a sad day.

So much bad news this week, but today it really is a sad day. 

They say death comes in three's, I'm bored and fed up of death now altogether and I wish that it didn't come at all.  Grief is shit and it never goes away.

That sums up my day today. Sorry to depress you all.

Thinking of everyone living with their bad news, their unbearable heartache and the turmoil of grief that is going on.  My heart goes out to each and every one of you.  Sending you all much love xx

Here's some poetry I've found about grief from reading another blog recently.  Who knows if it will help anyone, but I certainly understand the sentiments all the same. xx

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The ball in the bucket

Grief is like a ball in a bucket. To begin with it fills every space, and there is no room for anything else. But over time the bucket grows. It becomes a room, then a floor, then a whole house. The ball never gets any smaller, but your life grows and you have more space to move around your ball. With time there are days when you may not see the ball at all. Other days you open a door in your life and it trips you up. Some days it corners you. But with time you have more space to move the ball out of the way. Other people believe that the ball grows smaller and smaller and eventually vanishes. That is not the case. It will always be the same size.

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Hold me close and go away
Please visit me and please don’t stay
Talk to me but please don’t speak
I need you NOW – come back next week.

Emotions muddled, needs unknown
To be with others or on my own?
To scream out loud? To rant and shout?
Or hide away and push you out?

I smile at you – “She’s not that bad”
I shout at you – “She’s going mad”
I speak to you – “What do I say?”
I show my tears – “Quick, walk away”

It’s not catching, the grief I feel
I can’t pretend that it’s not real
I carry on as best I know
But this pain inside just won’t go.

So true friends, please, accept the lot
I shout, I cry, I lose the plot
I don’t know what I need today
So hold me close and go away.