So, I've welcomed you all to my new hobby.... blogging. So now it's time to introduce you to an old hobby of mine, one I hardly ever get right, so far haven't suceeded at and keep starting over... DIETING!
Those of you that know me know I have been dieting forever. I have always been chubby, fat, overweight, tubby, have puppy fat or whatever you want to call it. I remember vividly my mum saying to me, 'don't keep eating that chocolate you will regret it when you are older, if I could I would go back to your age and look after my figure I would because it is so hard to do it now...' But alas I carried on.
For a long time I was desperate to lose weight and considered myself HUGE this was from 16-18. However if I knew then what I do now I'd say I was ok!
I had a bit of a turbulent time in 2002 when the above pic was taken, one of the worst years of my life, (even if 10 years on history is playing a cruel trick and challenging this fact) lots of changes took place, I did lots of growing up and then in 2003 finally met the man of my dreams (except I didn't know it at the time!) while at uni.
From the ages of 19 - 21 my size really didn't play a big role in my thoughts as it had done in my younger years, I was happy, we ate out a lot in our dating days and I learnt to dress well. Even now I'd love to go back to this size!
The pics above whilst celebrating my 21st, I was young, in love, engaged and just about to finish uni. Barney was a lot heavier then than he is now, amazing how we swapped! We then in 2004 took up the task of giving up smoking, I didn't want to, Barney was desperate to and I was too stubborn not to succeed. So we did it, we gave up, Barney threw himself at the gym, I threw myself in the direction of cake and wine!
And so giving up smoking and taking up eating in a big way before my wedding day resulted in two wedding dresses (yes the first one didn't fit and a second one had to be ordered), several fat pictures as shown above, the latest one directly above in July this year and some asthma problems. I now have to do something about my weight, there is no good blaming the giving up smoking, it has been nearly 7 years now and it is just plain unsightly and unhealthy.
So for the last time, I am dieting, joined the gym and need to shift this arse once and for all. I am sitting typing this, eating my last boost bar and drinking a wednesday cider and am planning with much resolve.
I love my family and my life and would like very much for it to carry on for a long while, to do this I need to be slimmer and healthier and look after myself better. Probably not a good idea for me to take up cooking this week, and if any of you have any tips for me please feel free to share.
For now I'll start counting points and I'll keep you posted xx
So.... last week two of my cousins took me to a wonderous place called a tattoo convention! Now I have long loved ink, and so have both of them and a new addition to this liking is Mr B. Now Mr B didn't have his first tattoo until he was 40+ and now he has more than me ha!! His range from a whole leg piece, to my name and lips (from kissing pieces of paper for hours) and old fashioned swallows on his chest.
I vividly remember the first time I walked into a tattooists, it was 'Tribal Urge' in Southsea, now I have no idea how we ended up there... But we got there and it was uber cool! I was that desperate to get inked that I phoned my then boyfriend and asked if I had his name in Chinese tattooed on me, would he pay for it? I honestly had no intention of being scarred for life by his name (maybe that was the beginning of the end... who knows) and I was only 14 and life does change! Unfortunately I didn't think of that whilst rushing to get branded by a needle and I am left with a few small reminders of my youth!
My first tattoo was a baby devil sitting on a cloud on my tummy, bottom left.
I remember coming home from Southsea on the bus after my first experience of this new pain determined to talk about it with my parents. I walked into my lounge and who should be sat there but my very scary Grandma Dulci (dad's mum) who had bag fulls of clothes for me to try on and couldn't understand why I kept rushing to the bathroom to change! Now once she had left I thought I would broach the subject by asking mum and dad's permission... Mum said yep, your body and when you're 25 go ahead, my dad went purple and said no never ever ever ever (he is covered in tattoos) and if he had the money he would have all of his removed! So this started the long line of deceit.
Now the baby devil faded a little, he lost a few lines, which is understandable not knowing how to look after my new artwork, so off I went to a different tattooist to see what could bee done. He told me it would cost £10 to fill in the lines, I readily agreed and then noticed a design of a rose on his wall for the same money. Well why waste £10 on something that's already done.... let's get another! And so the addiction was born.
My third one (chinese symbol which means happiness) I did tell my mum and nan I was having done and they joked with me about getting one themselves with me, but this never happened. So the third one freshly in situ, I went home to proudly show it off to mum and nan. Funnily enough Nanny preferred tattoos to piercings, her favourite saying was always, 'If you were meant to have extra holes in your body you would have been born perforated!' That very day parked up outside mums house, leaning in the boot of mum's car dad saw my tattoo.... Uh oh! Mum of course questioned what he'd seen when he went blue in the face and stormed off, as it couldn't have been my tattoo because that is on the front isn't it??? So I had to come clean. Dad incendentily didn't speak to me for 2 weeks!
A few flowers, some script followed...
My latest tattoo was some flowers on my foot which my Nan drew for me, it is by far my most favourite because it's Nanny's. The tattooist did it exactly like the picture, you can see no difference and that is why I love it so, it looks like Nanny draws it on my foot freshly every day. This I had done with birthday money, which sent my dad into orbit again as he had contributed and if he had known I would've got nothing, or something of that effect.
So now a tattoo convention under my belt and number 7 is finally here. While Nanny was poorly she was drawing me a butterfly, but sadly we haven't found this drawing yet, so I can only summise she wasn't happy with it. I found a butterfly online that I was desperate to have and found myself a nice young German chap to get it on me! All in all it didn't take long, but I love it, even if I am not used to seeing it all the time yet.
This tattoo has real meaning for me, it was the butterfly I always wanted, the one Nanny never got to draw but approved of and in my mind symbolises me and my family. I am the butterfly, the echo is my family. I wouldn't be the person I am now without them, I wouldn't be whole without them, I wouldn't be a pretty person without them, because lets face it, the black butterfly although complete isn't finished, polished or very special is it and for that I am eternally grateful to my family.
Incidentally Dad hasn't seen it yet.... God only knows what he wll when he sees it! Being on my wrist it isn't an easy place to hide ha!!
Mum did eventually get her first tattoo, my sister and I paid for it and I took her down on her 44th birthday and she now has a very pretty flower on her foot and I'm sure we can talk her into more seeing as she liked the pain! Nanny although she joked she wanted a scorpion on her shoulder never got round to having hers done, so maybe I'll have a scorpion for her....
Although I don't regret any of my tattoos, I am sometimes left wishing I had thought more about them and spend most of my time planning what I can cover the littlies over with, but until then I guess I'll keep covering up the bare skin!
I'll keep you posted xx
