Well the last few weeks haven’t been too bad diet wise but I did put on 2lb last week. I think I had a bit of an excuse, mum had her gall bladder out, my sister gave birth and I've been a tad on the busy side visiting them both and helping out where I can. But I got back on track, stayed a little focussed, even with our wedding anniversary and lost 3lb! So I lost the 2lb I put on and an extra one to boot! So down to ‘unmentionable stone’ 2 now, yippee! I will feel better when I'm under ‘unmentionable stone’ as I've never been this heavy before, so fingers crossed I can do it this week. This week I have resolved to count everything that passes my lips and it’s now Friday and I've done it so far. 2 days down, 5 to go!
I'm struggling a little this week with life, so I'm hoping by being in control of my diet and my counting that this will give me something to focus on and see my through my blip in coping. Unfortunately, or maybe in the weight loss world not, I am also really struggling with my IBS :0(
I developed chronic IBS in 2007, although I wasn’t aware that it was that back then and I spent a year undergoing all sorts of unpleasant tests to find out what it was. My granddad died in December 2007 and on New Years Eve it started with a vengeance and sadly never went away. I think I have possibly suffered a touch of it all through growing up, for example being nervous or anything like that make me feel very nauseous and will upset my tummy immensely, or hormonal times will also upset my digestion, but nothing like it was when it started in earnest. Apparently trauma can bring it on or make it flare up, and losing my granddad was certainly traumatic for me. I am, or sadly now was, very close to my grandparents, I lived when them when I first left home and was first married and didn’t go a single day without seeing them for many many years. I guess I am lucky to pin point what triggered off my IBS but unfortunately it wasn’t something that I could just avoid, death is very sadly a part of adult life.
I have managed quite well over the last few years, had all sorts of allergy and food testing done to see what I can avoid to help my fateful tum, kept endless food diaries and taken pills till I've rattled, but for the most of the time I am well under control. I do take continuous medication and have luckily only suffered a few set backs that have left me unable to leave the house, but I am suffering a bit of a relapse at the moment. Understandably after this year being so horrific, although I am learning to cope with a new form of ‘normal’ I'm not sure my brain has told my tummy yet!
Stress is also another big factor in my suffering, and includes stress over stupid things like having to drive to another office to work, there might not be parking, I might get lost etc etc, leaves me having a massive debate with myself over where is the best place to vomit… In my handbag or in the passenger footwell! Now being sick is my most unfavourite thing in the World, so feeling sick sends me into blind panic and then of course the stress is worse and makes me feel even worse. I have since discovered being in other peoples cars exacerbates the problem and will leave me petrified and in tears for most of the morning and wondering as to whether to get in someone elses car and risk the vomiting and embarrassing myself, or just try and hold my breath for the whole journey and yell stop! every few miles. Life sometimes isn’t fun being little old me :0(
Lots of people don’t understand illnesses you can’t see, employers can be a bit like this too and that is a bit frustrating. No, I'm not ill as in coughing and spluttering everywhere, but the pain I deal with and the unpleasant effects IBS entails is not fun at all. Some people suffer as well and understand only too well, others look at me and assume I am really pathetic or just being awkward to be saying, ‘No I’d really like to sit at my desk and do my work rather than being carted off round the countryside and leaving me in such a state that I will vomit in someones footwell! Or don’t understand when I am so poorly I just need to stay in bed, drink only water and hope for the best.
I try not to moan too much about my IBS and when it is under control I can forget I have it. So lets be positive, lets hope I keep taking the tablets and keep rattling and hope against hope that it will lead to me losing weight if nothing else!
TTFN xx
I sure hope and pray that it will go away forever one of these days Sam. I can remember when mum was having fun and games with you as a baby. I really feel the pain you are going through, cos I darn sure would feel the pain if you were my daughter, and for years, you have kinda been like that to me along with you dear sister, it has been wonderful seeing the new born baby who is delightful. I have also had the pain of losing your dear grandad and grandma who were such close friends to me and my dearly beloved. Keep your chin up love and above all, try very hard not to stress out, that is the key point, just a little stress can do so much harm, how do I know? been there and had it when I was wheelchair bound for six months. Keep on face-book and in touch with me. Love and Hugs to you all.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for stopping by and commenting, means a lot. Lots of love xx
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