Being part of a step family...

Isn't hard, I count myself as incredibly lucky!

As life moves in to 2016, I’m pretty sure more and more people are part of a step family, it's more the norm these days – or it certainly feels it.  My mum and dad are still together, still married and most of my family are the same – I come from a very traditional background in that sense.  I'm the one who’s part of the step family, after marrying my husband. 

 

When I met Mr. B I knew he came as a package and that didn’t worry me at all.  His daughter (L) was then 15, he and his ex wife had split up long before and L has a step dad also.  Now, Mr. B is older than me by a few (19) years and there is only 5 years between L and I. This is something that people are always amazed by, god knows why – we’ve all got over it, it’s not strange to us!

 

Including me, L has two parents and two step parents.  L is now a grown up and lives on her own, but still spends her time between us all and at times all together.  We’ve always celebrated birthdays, some christmas’, events L has taken part in, celebratory dinners, parties etc, together.

 

People find it really peculiar that we do or are willing to spend time with Mr. B’s ex wife and her hubby, but I can’t understand why?  If you could, why wouldn’t you?  Surely if a child wants to have all their parents and step parents together and it's possible; why not?  What have you got to lose.  Yes, I can honestly say it was a little strange at first when we were first together; but it certainly isn’t now – its just part of normal life.

 

I'm very lucky, I’ve been accepted by L’s family and I do count them as extended family myself.  We’ve holidayed with L’s Nan, spent time on holiday with L’s Aunty and Uncle, had dinner with L’s mum and step dad, dealt with emergencies and situations together and spent christmas celebrations with L’s mum, stepdad, Nan, Grandad, sisters and friends.

 

People thought I was brave for going out for dinner with L’s mum and step dad and her friends to celebrate her getting in to university (Mr. B was working away). Or odd for us to meet L’s mum and step dad in London for the marathon; to watch and cheer L on (and have breakfast together while L was running her little legs off – it was early!).  But I’m not brave, I’m a grown up, they are nice people!  Why on earth would we do it seperately, why would we go to London and stand in separate places to cheer on the same person or why should L have to go for two separate dinner celebrations because her parents have split up?  Surely that just makes life complicated, awkward and difficult.

 

I wouldn’t think twice about phoning L’s mum for some advice, sending her a quick text to wish her well, popping in for a cuppa when I picked L up or going out for dinner with her and her hubby; honestly it’s just the norm.  No we’re not bestest friends and don’t spend every day in each others pockets, but we do have a relationship which I cherish, and I find it really sad when people feel they can’t have that relationship or any kind of contact for no specific reason.  

I am so happy and so proud that our life is as it is and I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.  

 

I do understand of course that some people split up and the split is so acrimonious that you couldn’t possibly spend time in the presence of your ex, but if that isn’t the case then I’d encourage you to give it a try.

 

I know I am a great one for looking at life through rose tinted glasses and I know it’s not always as easy or as positive as I make it.  I’m aware I am very lucky and am also very grateful that we all get on – but if we didn’t all make that little bit of effort, it might be very different.

So if anything, I guess I’m just trying to tell you all, (if it's at all possible) an ex isn’t scary – go make an effort, go make friends, honestly your life could be better for it, so much easier than having to live everyting seperately and more importantly - so much nicer for your children.

 

Of course I’d like to extend a massive thanks to my step daughter L, her family and to Mr.B; who have taught me to live this way and show me that it is so easy and so rewarding.  And a big thanks to L's family who have accepted me as part of L’s life with Mr. B. You’re all amazing; I’m so lucky to be part of this one big extended family, to have you all and long may the happy times continue.

Sammy xx

Just a footnote.... I completely understand relationships are all sided, I know this would be completely impossible for some situations and this post is not intended to make anyone feel inadequate at all, I promise.  Everyone's life is different, everyone's story is different and everyone lives differently. 

365 Day Saving Challenge

I've touched on savings and debt a little before, so here is my (small time) savings plan for this year.  This isn't a New Years resolution as such, but just something I'm aiming to do to boost the savings a little!

This will run alongside any other savings we plan to do.

So I saw this on t'internet a few days ago and decided I'd like to join in!  The idea is to save something small every single day. So day 1 (I'm starting Jan 1st) you save 1p, day 2 - 2p, day 3 - 3p and so on until you get to day 365 and that's £3.65.  

I'm told (I haven't done the maths myself!) at the end of this I will have £667.95 to show for it (well £671.61 it is a leap year after all!). Sounds good eh!

So I've started, we're on day 3, 'tis completely pain free so far - it's all good!

The other thing I started to do last year which I was rubbish at; I will start again this year, and that is 'rounding up'.  Using  my online banking, at the end of each day any odd pence on my current account balance, I will move to the same savings account as my saving every day challenge.

We've booked an amazing holiday to Iceland for Jan 2017 - so if nothing else it'll be nice to have some extra pocket money so to speak! 

I'll keep you posted, TTFN Sammy xx

15 things I learnt in 2015...

Happy New Year everyone! I hope your hangovers aren't as bad as Mr. B's! 

New Years eves a funny old day and always gets me thinking about the year we're leaving behind.  So here's a quick thought on the things I learnt in 2015.

1. Drink plenty of water.

How borings that for an opener? But it's so true! I've been drinking at least 2 litres a day, my skin has improved, my hangovers aren't as bad - the list of positives is endless!

2. Sort it out.

All your junk, sort through, declutter, gift things, sell things or throw things. Once it's sorted life will seem clearer.

3. It's not as bad as you think.

I'm a think the worst, it can only get better type girl and I must admit - it usually works in my favour.

4. If you want something, go after it.

Never take your eye off the ball, never stop searching and pull out all the stops to go after it.

5. Don't keep your head in the sand.

If you've a problem, face it up - it can and will be sorted. Ask for help if you need it. Life will be so much better afterwards I promise.

6. Pay off debt.

It may be hard, but it'll be liberating when it's done.

7. Write stuff down.

Whichever form you choose, it's a great release and works wonders for the soul.

8. Always stay postive.

You'll be amazed how it can influence a situation. Go on, give it a try!

9. Stay close to your family.

Speak often, love much and just make the most of now with each and every one of them.

10. Be the friend you'd like to have.

Cherish and nurture your friendships, love  and laugh lots with them. Show your friends what they mean to you and don't waste time and energy on people who just aren't worth it. 

11. It's ok to have a pj day.

And watch friends or only fools and horses repeats. Take some time for yourself and relish in it.

12. Light a candle.

Not only will it make the room smell nice, it'll lift your spirits too.

13. Once it's done it's done.

There really is no point crying over spilt milk. It's done, you can never move forward all the time you're looking back.

14. It's ok to feel sad.

It's ok to have a cry, it's ok to feel a bit down. It'll pass, don't suppress it, it just makes it worse.

15. Don't save things for best.

Not this years lesson, but an important one all the same! Don't save perfume, clothes for a special night out. Don't save the good candles or crockery for a special occasion. You're alive today and that is special.

So, here's to 2016!

TTFN, Sammy xx

A merry little Christmas!

Well that's it, all over and done with for another year!  The decs are down in our house and we're ready for the new year to come.

The start of Christmas was a little tricky this year, I had rather a large car accident at the end of December, oops! Not my fault I hasten to add - we were car 4 in a 6 car pile up on the motorway.  Simply a case of wrong place at wrong time.

So my car has been spectacularly written off, I'm arguing daily with insurers, solicitors, third party companies who want me to use their company to sue for compo (god they are boring and sooooo underhand to boot!); but we are very lucky. Lucky to have walked away from mangled metal - with hopefully not too long lasting injuries.

I've spoken about this before, I do believe in positivity, and even if it kills me I'll remain positive till the end.  

We could've died, so could anyone of us in that crash.  I wasn't carrying any passengers in my back seats (my boot ploughed into the back seats), it all round could've been so much worse and you know what - we're just so lucky it wasn't. 

I'm pleased it happened to us and not someone with babies in their car, an elderly lady with a frail heart, the list goes on. I can cope with it, I'm a big girl and life simply goes on. 

Big pants pulled up and moved forward. (Back injury and physio permitting of course!)

And life goes on - so it did, right into a lovely Christmas period with my family! I was thoroughly spoilt and hope you were too. I have lots to look forward to in the new year, and I can't wait to get there.

I've told you before, I've joined SW now and will hopefully be counting down my success very soon. Pre crash (everything is now defined by pre and post crash hehe!) I was 8lbs down, post crash I'm not....oops.  But I've sustained a back injury, I was signed off work for most of December and even the lightest walking/exercise just hurts and I've eaten and drank my way emotionally through the shock and then Christmas. 

But tomorrow is a new day!

I'll keep you posted, TTFN xx

The Rucksack Project Event 21st November 2015

Portsmouth Evening News

That's Solent TV


Well what can I say?.... It's been bluddy amazing!

Thank you all so much! Your donations and kindness is just truly amazing!  A whole community pulling together and doing a fabulous job.

The families, the children, the support, the Cubs, the brownies, the volunteers, the organisers.... Just wow! 

3,500 rucksacks - not to mention the food, clothes, toiletries.  All donated and straight out to our charities, organisations and shelters.  So many grateful recipients ranging the whole of Hampshire and further afield where possible.

A special mention to our ladies from Tesco, all day they were with us working tirelessly, making up rucksacks with misc items handed in, trawling through donations and just keeping everything running so smoothly.

Another special mention to the Portsmouth and Southsea Round Table - kept the traffic flowing, carried and lugged bags, items, helped in everyway they could and relieved people of donations who didn't want to come all the way down to or into the centre.

All of the volunteers were just amazing, manning the raffle, manning the vintage tea stand, helping transport rucksacks, handing out leaflets, everything you did - it couldn't have been done without you. 

The participating charities and organisations who all gave their time to talk to people about their charities, the work they do and of course mucked in and helped out while they were here, as well as transporting all the items back to their services. 

We had some very special guests today too!

Donna Jones leader PCC and family

HMS Westminster

And of course, Joanne and The Portsmouth Watersports Centre - none of this could happen without you! Joanne is the most enthusiastic and passionate person I've ever met, she is a force to be reckoned with and I'm so pleased to call her a friend.

(Photo from the Watersports Facebook page)

Sorry this was going to be a super short post with some pics... Oops! Here's the pics anyways!! 

Much love Portsmouth - you are amazing - all of you!! 

If I've missed you it's not been intentional, I apologise - I get a bit carried away and leave things out! If you have other pics you'd like me to post, please send them this way - I didn't get chance to take many!xx

#wearetherucksackproject #weareportsmouth #community #rucksackproject2015 #soproud #teamrucksack  #itsnicetobenice

What a community!

So we're nearing the Rucksack Project event in Portsmouth, I can't believe it's tomorrow already! I'm so honoured to have been involved with the organising this year, it's a huge task and one we really do have to thank Joanne for. 

Joanne gives up her office, her time and her life at this time of year to produce this event - I'm so pleased to have been able to lend a hand, but it doesn't rival the above and beyond Joanne goes to!  Big love to that lady ❤️

Looking at the event page and I'm literally bowled over by what amazing people you all are, what an amazing community we live in and what a fantastic feeling that is.  People are posting pictures of their wares ready for Saturday, quick last minute questions, me shamelessly plugging the raffle to raise funds for our organisations and people lending a hand.  

https://www.facebook.com/events/1480658705584548/

I can count loads who have posted asking for collections, drop offs, help with transport - and they've all been answered.  All pleas answered, strangers going to other people's addresses to pick up rucksacks to ensure they get to the event, just amazing.

Keep up the hard work Portsmouth. Can't wait to see you all tomorrow!

#wearetherucksackproject #weareportsmouth #wearecommunity #teamhampshire #itsnicetobenice #soproud 

Dear Weight Watchers....

You are sacked.

I'm very sorry to say but after these last few years of being a loyal supporter, a helper in a meeting and supporting leaders and members where I can; today this ends.

I'm weary and I'm fed up.  Not with my weight loss, I know that is a long journey and is entirely down to me.  I'm happy with what I've lost and that I've not continued to get bigger and bigger each year with your support.  But this last year completely and utterly takes the biscuit. (No pun intended, apologies)

I joined many years ago as a member and continued my membership on and off for a few years.  One of my friends I went to school with encouraged me to come along to her meeting on a Sunday and I really enjoyed it.  My friend, Donna got to her goal, trained and qualified to be a leader, opened a new meeting and took over some local ones too.  

I joined Donna in her venture of opening a new meeting, even though it was 12 ish miles from home. We had a fab time, built the meeting up from scratch and had lots of lovely new members join us.

I loved Saturday mornings, so much so my mum joined too and she also became one of the helpers alongside another member.  We were a fab team, had loads of members and totally rocked Saturday mornings.

Now time passes and life goes on as it does.  Donna fell pregnant with a much longed for little girl, and as happens, went off on well deserved maternity leave - some time to spend with her beautiful family.  There was a plan and a maternity cover in place, WW would continue as normal.

Or so we thought.

However, WW weren't entirely truthful or even helpful. The maternity cover, decided a Saturday morning wasn't for her after all - so we were left in the lurch with no information, none of the members were informed, no notice on the WW website and we were closed. For 4 months.  

The support and information from WW and its managers weren't just a joke, they were diabolical. We were promised vouchers for the inconvenience of finding a new group that didn't materialise until after we were re-opened with much wrangling.  Poor Donna kept hearing from everyone and trying to find out info for us, even though she was on maternity leave.

Eventually a new leader was found and our meeting was re-opened.  For a while.

We had a leader, Nikki, who was covering Donna permanently and would be up until such time Donna was coming back. Life ticked on, sort of normally.  (I won't air my personal views - input here what you like)

So by September, Donna had made the decision not to return for a while, to enjoy her family while they're young instead of dashing around after us! And what a marvellous decision that was, we were all so pleased for her. 

WW now decided that Hilsea was too far for Nikki to come and stopped her from coming (or so she tells us - I've got to the point I have no idea who or what to believe anymore!) and organised us a new local leader.  I had asked for a contact number for a manager so we could find out what was going to be happening, sadly this was met with a defensive manner and downright aggression, which then resulted in me being ranted at (via messenger - not public forum) by Nikki, until I finally got an email address and an apology.  

Sadly this new leader we were getting, despite various promises from managers and other leaders, has not been forthcoming.

By mid October, we were told by our third stand in leader, that there was no new leader and now wouldn't be one till after Christmas at least.  

By now all of the members are a little restless to say the least. No meeting materials or actual motivational talks for the last 3 weeks, just excuses from the leaders and no real information as to what is going to happen.

I emailed a WW manager to complain about our treatment; the fact we had no support, no continuity, none of what people actually pay for, and this was met with no apology, no assurance this was going to be looked in to.... No. 

Accusations that I am aggressive and abusive and they may close the meeting altogether because they have to look out for the safety and well being of their leaders.  I'm sorry what?  I haven't been any of those things and quite frankly WW, your attitude stinks.  I have been nothing but kind, polite and helpful and don't consider myself an aggressive or rude person at all.  That is a most hurtful and untruthful accusation and I'm still quite hurt by it.

Maybe you should send your managers on some kind of complaint handling courses, because that is certainly not how you handle a complaint.

I posted on your Facebook page and was told the issue was being looked in to? Still nothing. I emailed head office with a complaint last week, your automated email said I should hear in 24 hours - still nothing.

We are now on our fifth stand in leader, who burst in to our meeting saturday morning, quite simply looking for a fight.  When asked some simple questions about next week, if we would have a leader or cover, who would inform members etc, we were confronted with - 'if this negativity continues I have the authority to and I will close this meeting. I am hard(?!) and I come from Southampton and won't be taking any of your shit.' Oh excuse me, I apologise - I forgot, we are all supposed to be happy about the situation WW have left us in and we're paying for and fear people because they are from another part of Hampshire. Wow. Impressive. Professional. Not.

So WW I'm simply fed up.  You cannot organise a piss up in a brewery, you cannot even answer a simple enquiry, let alone a complaint.

To look at the comparison between you and your biggest rival... Look at your Facebook pages - yours is filled with complaints, theirs is filled with anything but.  The materials for your plan you have to buy literally everything, they give the information and books for free.  The list can go on and on, but however you look at it - the sun no longer shines for you WW.

So... you can poke your loyalty, you can poke your leaders, you can poke your so called managers, you can poke your meetings, you can certainly poke your new plan coming out in January - rendering everything we've ever bought null and void, meaning we all have to buy new products, new books, new literature at extortionate prices.

I am quite literally done.

Yours sincerely, Mrs. B.