So I haven’t written frankly about my life for a while and I feel like you all need some light entertainment in your life (as do I – jury service is officially rubbish! Maybe I’ll write about that one day, when I’m allowed to anyways!) so here’s a treat for you, let me tell you all about my experience of MRI scans!
After my big car accident, (I know, can you believe that was November 2015, so long ago now!) I’m still suffering with my back and apparently I should now be completely healed. I suffer mainly walking and standing, and at times it’s fine and at times it’s excruciating. I came to think of it as this is how I am now, it wasn’t till I mentioned it to my solicitor, did she say it wasn’t right and she was sending me to an orthopaedic surgeon (who I disliked immensely). Anyways, he recommended I go and have an MRI scan, so off the referral was sent!
I was originally sent to Spire hospital in Havant. They phoned me and made an appointment, gave me no guidelines, didn’t ask me to fill any forms in or give me any info at all actually. I was a little worried, I’ve seen those tubes on Holby and I wasn’t sure how I was going to cope being in such a small space, but I kinda figured if I closed my eyes and talked myself in to it, it would be fine. It’s a neat little trick my Mum and Nan taught me, if you don’t like something, repeat over and over again that you do and in the end your brain will believe it and it will be almost hypnotic – think the annoyance of dripping water.
So I arrived nice and early, 1 diazepam down and feeling pretty chilled. Mr. B was of course driving! I whip my clothes off and get gowned up, am escorted in to the room by a tall and very unsympathetic lady and asked if I had any metal in or on me. Probably would’ve been handy to know this beforehand to remove piercings, but hey.
I lay on the bed looking at the tube they’re about to put me in and to be honest, I was pretty suspect that my fat arse was not going to fit! Scary times. I don’t think I’ve always been claustrophobic, but to be fair I’ve only had this theory tested a few times now and spending an hour in a 6 person lift with 6 people whilst awaiting the 7 fireman rescue us was one of these, but at this point in the MRI proceedings, I was feeling a little faint about claustrophobia and did tell her ladyship.
So said stroppy nurse then starts putting me in the machine and I’m not sure what to do with my arms, I can’t have them by the side of me because the tube is too tight, so I end up with them draped over the front of me, like on top of my boobs. Further and further into the machine I go, until it reaches my chest and arms and the whole machine is literally touching me the whole way round. Mrs stroppy knickers says nothing, despite my panicked look, shoves some headphones on me and asks if I will listen to local radio as the machine is very loud and I’m going to be in there around 40 minutes. Further in I go and the machine is literally squeezing my boobs and that was it game over – finger out stroppy lady – get me out of here! So again, no sympathy from bitch nurse, just get up get out, no idea what you’re going to do, you’re on your own love!
BUT my fat arse fitted in the machine and didn’t touch any sides!!
So aborted MRI scan over, I get home and let my solicitor know it all went tits up, and had a google to see what they do with mega claustrophobic people for MRI scans. A friend of mine called me and let me know she had a problem also, but there is an open MRI scanner at Croydon, instead of a tube – its more burger shaped and the sides are completely open. Sounded like a winner, so I let my solicitor know that could be a plan.
Sure as, I get my referral and off we go, this time with my step daughter in tow to keep me calm, she doesn’t drive, so no diazepam for Mrs. B this time! We get there in plenty of time, the sun is shining and it was destined to be a good day. We reach reception after getting a little lost round the hospital due to building work and staff having no idea what we’re talking about! Hand my form over to the lovely receptionist and bang, off goes the electricity. L looks at me and says, ‘this isn’t good news’. Being a radiography uni student, I am inclined to believe her, so off we go for a long wait.
Sure enough one of the team appears, apologises for the delay and explains that they are turning the machines back on but they have no idea how long this will take, L assures me it could be aaaaagggeeeessss! Everyone in the waiting room is getting stroppy, god only knows why, it’s not the staff or the hospitals fault, but we sit back have a gossip and take it all in our stride.
After around an hour, the door opens and I’m summoned in with 3 others, where they explain that the electricity has not come back on and the hospital is currently being run on generators! The machines are up and running, but there could be a slight issue. So the poor lad goes on to explain, we can have a scan, however there could be a problem if the mains come back on. So while in the scanner, if the electric comes back on, the generators will automatically go off, the machine will go off, the room will be in darkness and I will be stuck in the machine. They reassure me that they will of course come in the room and talk to me, but there will be no getting me out until the machines are powered back on and that could be a while! So the question is, do I want to risk it??? Well d’you know what, 2 hour trip here, 2 hour wait so far – in for a penny in for a pound! I don’t really want to come back to Croydon if I can help it, so sure why not – lets risk it.
The minute I’d uttered the words, the claustrophobia hit me like a train, and panic mode set in, so L kindly agreed to come in the room with me. So after volunteering her, L then has to go through the health screening and suddenly thinks about an intimate piercing she has, that she’s never taken out. We explain to the nurse who says, yes it has to come out, so off we go into a changing cubicle, me to be gowned up and L to rummage around in her underwear to get said piercing out! 20 minutes goes past, of L and me tugging, pulling and pushing in her bra and there is no budging this piercing! The nurse comes in so we tell her our predicament, I then loose part of the piercing stud on the floor never to be seen again – what a sorry state of affairs! So they let L in with her piercing in tact, but she has to stay away from the machine.
So in the machine I go, panicking and trying to breathe all the way, whilst looking at L. She has headphones on and I’ve got ear buds in so we can’t talk to each other and I spend 30 minutes just looking at poor L! A few times the lights flickered and we share a panicked stare; but thankfully all went well and I was out in one piece, not stuck in any machines and ultra-relieved it was all over. We finally start the long journey home, stopping for some dirty fast food on the side of the M25.
Well Last week I started jury service; I wasn’t picked the first day, but the second day just as the court clerk called out my name, my mobile rang. I answered it and it was Croydon hospital. Apparently what they didn’t tell me, was that there was another risk should the power come back on…. So the minute I left the hospital, the power came and all of my images of the MRI were wiped! All that time, emotion and panic for nothing!
So, MRI scan number 3 is booked for the near future… see you on the other side – I’ll keep you posted!
TTFN, Sammy xx
